Patience and tolerance

I’ve spent most of the day sitting in a cold house waiting for a repairman to turn up.

Last week, the repair man and I used whatsapp to arrange a day and time to meet. I turned up…he didn’t.

A couple of years ago I would have been angry but events over the last 2 years have helped me to become more patient and tolerant.

Receiving a cancer diagnosis changes your outlook on life.

The diagnosis and prognosis made me realise that time on earth is precious. It also made me realise that just because a person looks and seems physically fit, that doesn’t necessarily mean that the person is in good health.

I was very fit and healthy when my world was shattered. A few weeks later I was sitting in the oncology waiting room for the first time. I was surrounded by sick people. Some looked healthy like me…others looked very sick and uncared for, but irrespective of physical appearance, every person in that room was worried, scared and distracted. Just like me.

The minutes in the waiting room seemed like hours. The hours waiting for results seemed like days. The days waiting for the next appointment seemed like weeks – and I was lucky enough to be receiving treatment at one of the most advanced and efficient treatment centres in the world – the Mayo Clinic in Rochester Minnesota.  

I didn’t like waiting, but I learned to be patient. Of course I wanted to be treated as the Number 1 priority patient, but just by looking around me it was clear that the medical staff had plenty of patients who needed more attention than I did.

I was (and still am) lucky to have had a cancer where the long term survival rate is good, for that reason I believe that medical staff were prioritising their efforts on patients with a less optimistic prognosis.

It may have taken longer than I would have liked, but I always received the care I needed when I needed it. I had no idea what “emotional baggage” was being carried by the people treating me as I was always treated with kindness, courtesy and compassion.

From those people I learned to be more tolerant.

So the repair man didn’t turn up when he said he would.

• Am I disappointed? Yes.
• Am I angry? No
• Will I give him a second chance? Yes

Even though we all carry “emotional baggage” (illness, money problems, family problems, addictions) we tend to assume that we are the only ones.

I have no idea what problems the repair man has going on in his personal and professional life.

When we do finally meet I won’t give him a hard time – what’s the point? He knows he’s messed up and making him feel bad about himself doesn’t achieve any positive outcome. I will just ask him to improve his communication in future. 

We should all do our best to spread a little kindness

Best wishes,

Richard

5 things I am thankful for –

1. Chemotherapy
2. Morning sunshine
3. The willingness to forgive
4. Birdsong
5. Sleep